I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
