GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
