at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
