mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
