do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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