using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
