I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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