I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
