i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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