yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
