Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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