? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
