My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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