I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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