Where is the hickey?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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