Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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