just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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