I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
