he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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