I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
