You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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