Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
