Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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