let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will be naked everywhere
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
