Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
