I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
