ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
