They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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