nut hugger
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
