Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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