last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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