Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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