i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
