I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
