dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
