Im at strip club and am horny
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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