What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
