I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
