Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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