I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She needs sedatives and a leash
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
