this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
