She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
