dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
