You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
