his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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