Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
