Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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