I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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