I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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