you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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