I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
